WelYgl it’s only been a fucking year since tethering was announced for the iPhone; now AT&T is poised to implement it–along with draconian pricing models to ensure that tethering isni’t at all useful to those who choose to tether. Their top-tier, most expensive plan, caps out at 2gb–down from 5gb on their “unlimited” plan.Plus, in a move in-line with their unmitigated gall, they did it as the iPad’s popularity is zooming stratospheric. You’ve got to admire the timing.

So rather than add capacity, the fucking slimebags at AT&T fixed the fact that they have the shittiest, narrowest-diameter data network of all the majors by crippling their data plans. Fucking brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that!? Some executive somewhere just got a big, fat bonus check for dreaming up that marvelous piece of marketing.

But Corsair, you use Verizon–and you hate AT&T anyway. So why get so bent-out-of-shape over this? It doesn’t affect you.

Oh, but it absolutely will affect me–and you, too, no matter what carrier you’re on. You see, when one carrier decides to do this sort of thing out in the open, it gives the green light to all the other carriers to do the same thing. It’s like collusion, but out in the open, and it’s just one more way for the telecoms to bend us over the barrel one more time for one more go-round.

I tether my BlackBerry Storm 2 under Verizon, and pay the oppressive $45/month + $15/month for the 5gb privilege. If Verizon follows suit, I’ll be pissed. Not pissed enough to leave them, of course–their service is still the best of the best–but pissed enough to write them angry letters and compose angry blog entries.

Big Red should use this as an opportunity to chuckle, shake their heads, and sock it to the Blue Bastards at AT&T–with an ad campaign that says: “Gee whiz, AT&T. It’s a shame that your pathetic network which can’t keep up with all the growth is so bad that you have to put usage restrictions in place. Can you hear me now? Oh–you dropped my call? Oops.”

The latest crop of smartphones out there on Big Red’s network: the Pre, the Pixi, the Droid (both Eris and Motorola), even my own BlackBerry Storm 2 come close, but cannot quite replicate the iPhone experience. And they certainly have not been able to replicate the runaway success of the iTunes and the App store.

In a classic understatement, a few days ago AT&T itself admitted that it had a problem with “overpenetration of the iPhone into the New York City market.” And what is really intriguing is the growing number of users out there who love their iPhone, but hate AT&T. Even more intruguing is that there are spots on AT&T’s own message boards where iPhone users are bitterly complaining about AT&T’s poor service, where some users are going as far as saying that if an alternative–any alternative–comes along, they’ll jump at it and tell AT&T to go pound sand. Yes, I know that these people can jailbreak their iPhones–and subsequently void their warranty–and switch to T-Mobile or some other GPRS/GSM carrier. But most iPhone users, it seems, aren’t willing.

The latest exclusivity-ending rumor to circulate quotes analysts saying that the iPhone will come to CDMA networks like Verizon’s as early as Summer, and that Apple is arranging its Asian supply chains to include CDMA chips into the mix. I can only hope they’re right. I would love to have an iPhone–if for no other reason than to take the “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” path. But I will never, ever, ever go back to AT&T to do it. Not ever.

I really hope AT&T’s exclusivity stranglehold on the iPhone is, in fact, ending much sooner rather than later. I wouldn’t exactly say that the arrangement is killing Cupertino, but I will go so far as to say that Apple could be selling a lot more iPhones to CDMA subscribers on Sprint and Verizon–when a customer leaves AT&T like a rat leaving a sinking ship,  they have to buy a new iPhone. And a sale is a sale, no matter what; I know apple hasn’t discounted that possibility.

Ultimately, non-exclusivity could work out in everybody’s favor, actually–Cupertino could sell a lot more iPhones, and iPhone users would be spread more evenly throughout all the carriers, leveling out the traffic and relieving their burden–they wouldn’t have to work quite so hard to satisfy their remaining, loyal (albeit misguided) customer base.

I’ve been using BeeJiveIM since it was called JiveTalk and used it on my Curve 8330; having one of my brilliant, yet rare, flashes of foresight, I knew that phones in my world are not perennial things and thus I sprung for the $29.99 license (it’s now $14.95) that lets you move JiveTalk, or BeeJiveIM, or whatever the hell they’re calling it these days, from phone to phone. It’s a nice little product that allows the user to connect to all the major IM services with their smartphone: AIM, Yahoo!, Windows Live, Google Talk, even Jabber–a boon for me, as Jabber is our primary method of IM.

THE VERDICT: SAVE YOUR MONEY

I began using BeeJiveIM 2.0.1 on my BlackBerry Storm 2 (with OS 5.0.0.328) a few days ago, following an interminable wait for the product to exit Beta. I used its Beta on my Storm 1, and the Beta was about as abyssmal a product as you can get. For a while there, the Beta for the Storm wasn’t even available for download from beejive.com. I downloaded BeeJiveIM 2.0.1 with a minimum of muss and/or fuss, it installed properly, and I was able to transfer my existing license over to it, all very easily. Sadly, that’s where the party ended.

My impression after a few days? No software product has ever made me want to give my BlackBerry Storm 2 top billing on a segment of Will It Blend? more than BeeJiveIM 2.0.1. The product is so unbelievably bad that I think I would have been far better off simply smearing the phone with my own feces and burying it in peat moss for a month–at least the possibility would exist that something beautiful may grow out of it.

BeeJiveIM 2.0.1 is buggier than a bait store in the Everglades in summertime; in my opinion, the product should never have exited Beta. It has some really nice features that, if they worked, would be fabulous.

But they don’t.

Bug #1: there’s no way to disable those obnoxious buddy icons. On a smartphone, display real estate and processing power are precious, precious commodities and to squander them on making buddy icons display and scroll is inane. Oh sure, there’s a check box in “Preferences” that suggests that BeeJiveIM may stop displaying the buddy icons. But it won’t.

One of my major complaints about BeeJiveIM for the Curve was the fact that it sucked down battery power like a frat boy sucks down Old Milwaukee. I accepted that fact because it was a halfway decent product, but BeeJive IM 2.0.1 is even worse. If you keep it running, talking to the network over EV-DO, your fully-charged battery will be depleted within half a day. Aah, but BeeJive added a fix: The Storm 2 has Wi-Fi capability, and BeeJiveIM can allegedly use the far more battery-conscious Wi-Fi radio to talk.

And it will, too. For about a half hour. After that, any status change will result in connection errors; to change your status, you have to shut down the software and restart it. Boo.

Just about everything I tried to do with BeeJiveIM 2.0.1 made me want to repeatedly smash my Storm against my desk. But I didn’t; it’s not the Storm’s fault that BeeJiveIM 2.0.1 is a horrible product, so I refuse to take my enormous frustration and disappointment out on my Storm. The truth is that there are so many bugs in this product that it is pointless to continue the review, and if I were BeeJive, I would be embarrassed to give this product away–much less charge $15.00 for it.

And why the low price point all of a sudden!? If a user can afford a BlackBerry and the hugely expensive plan that goes with it, they can pony up $30 for a do-all meta-messenger like BeeJiveIM. I plunked down my $30 and was happy to do it. If this product actually worked, my God, it would be a bargain at twice the price. I personally think it’s Apple, once again, ruining the smartphone market for everyone by insisting that developers slave away for peanuts; if you pay $5.00 for an app, you’ll get just that–an app worth $5.00. I also have a sneaky suspicion that BeeJive is pouring its limited resources into the iPhone version, making us BlackBerry users (once again) feel like the ugly girl at the Prom that nobody wants to dance with. But I digress.

BeeJive, if you’re reading this, take this gigantic steaming pile of crap called BeeJiveIM 2.0.1 for the BlackBerry Storm back to the drawing board and don’t come back without a version 3. And make sure everything works this time, mmmmkay?

C’mon, really, AT&T? Really? You have roughly 1/4 the 3G coverage of Verizon and all you can say is your 3G coverage is faster? Really? That’s like saying your car can totally smoke any other car out there–but only runs on a quarter of the roads. And here’s a little news flash for you: UMTS and HSDPA may be faster than EV-DO rev. A, but it ain’t that much faster–and besides, the way you’ve implemented it, it’s actually slower. Munch on that. Oh–and did I mention EV-DO rev. A is available across ALL of Verizon’s network–not just in “select markets?”

So you have the iPhone–big deal. What good is a smartphone if it keeps dropping from 3G to EDGE to No Data right in the middle of Downtown Chicago and New York, as a number of iPhone users are reporting?

At least you’re answering back Verizon issue-for-issue. But I still can’t imagine what good it is having the fastest 3G network when I can’t make or receive a voice call while standing in my living room, I drop a call halfway through, or when every piece of electronics in a ten-foot radius goes nuts from interference when my phone actually does decide to ring a call through.

Pretty weak, guys. Pretty weak.

Again, instead of hiring camera crews, washed-up actors, and renting abandoned warehouse space to film nanny-nanny-boo-boo commercials, perhaps that money would be better-spent upgrading your ancient network.

Now I really hate AT&T.

I’ve been reading for days about their legal response to Verizon’s new spate of “There’s a map for that” ads:

…and the conclusion I can draw? Someone better call a waaaaaaaaambulance for AT&T. Not only does their voice network stink, but their 3G data network is seriously outdated and hasn’t nearly kept up with its ambitious smartphone offerings–iPhone included.

And now the war is getting even uglier. Verizon has fired right back at the lawsuit–not only doubling up on its “There’s a map for that” ads (including some hilarious Christmas-themed ones), but now Engadget is reporting that Verizon’s legal team has fired a response to AT&T’s legal team–one drafted from the ground up for publication.

AT&T did not file this lawsuit because Verizon’s “There’s A Map For That” advertisements are untrue; AT&T sued because Verizon’s ads are true and the truth hurts.

In the final analysis, AT&T seeks emergency relief because Verizon’s side-by-side, apples-to-apples comparison of its own 3G coverage with AT&T’s confirms what the marketplace has been saying for months: AT&T failed to invest adequately in the necessary infrastructure to expand its 3G coverage to support its growth in smartphone business, and the usefulness of its service to smartphone users has suffered accordingly.

Yup. The truth sure does hurt, AT&T.

Lastly, Engadget published this great editorial that debunks all the myths surrounding AT&T’s and Verizon’s data networks once and for all–and is required reading for anybody following this.

I’ll echo the sentiment of the above editorial–as well as many of the folks watching this fight with interest: Hey AT&T, instead of spending untold zillions on corporate lawyers, think maybe you outght to invest that money into, I dunno, improving your network? Maybe? Huh? Whaddaya say?

I do, however, hate AT&T. Oh, I hate them. I hate them with a burning passionate hatred I reserve for child molesters, ax murderers, and Harley/metric cruiser riders who put loud pipes on their bikes and think they’re cooler than I am for doing so.

So naturally, when Big Red (a.k.a. Verizon Wireless) came out with their latest crop of commercials, I lauged my ass off:

Verizon Wireless BlackBerry Curve 8530

I was so happy with my Curve, and so disappointed with my Storm. So when I heard on Engadget that the 8530 was coming to Big Red, I was delighted–I’d seriously envied the fact that AT&T and T-Moble were enjoying the GSM version of this phone and I, a Verizon CDMA user, was out on the cold.

The 8530 has a faster processor than my old Curve and a real keyboard (SurePress was neat, but I do so much mobile texting and e-mailing that I really need a physical keyboard). But I think the most noteworthy change is that RIM has replaced the trackball with a capacative trackpad with no moving parts–it can never get gummed up or dirty, except from the odd fingerprint or two.

And the phone is all black and sexy, too–which never hurts.

I had been eyeing with some interest the Droid and the Storm 2, but after having a chance yesterday to fiddle with both at very great length, I found that they were both let-downs. The Storm 2’s SurePress is markedly improved, but not enough for me to eschew a real keyboard in its favor; besides, the rumor that it was a Mifi access point turned out to be disappointingly false. The Droid is an impressive phone, but a few little touches here and there indicated to me that someone, either at Motorola or Google, had forgotten that this thing was a phone first and a computer second, something that Apple had kept clearly in mind when designing the interface for the iPhone. And I really didn’t care for its physical keyboard. Flat and featureless, it was scarcely better than the SurePress on the Storm 2.

The real kicker is that the Droid would set me back $200; Storm 2, $179. The Curve 8530: only $99.

Everything I need at a great price. Who could ask for more?

I just have to be patient until November 20th, when it finally hit’s Big Red’s shelves.

I’m covering KJ German’s Wednesday night show for a few weeks while he’s off in Germany. Normally I like his Wednesday night show; it’s at one of those very nicely-appointed, hip, trendy, alcoholic Slurpee™ bars; y’know the ones, with the good food, great drinks, and typically a pleasant atmosphere. But I swear there must’ve been a full moon out last night: every lunatic, ass-hole, and crazy was out en masse and they all came to my show.

It makes me question why on Earth I was so eager to get back into the Karaoke business, especially considering that I have a full-time job besides. After last night, I’m totally sick of Karaoke and I fucking hate people–and if I ever see another microphone again, I’m going to throw up.

I want to be alone for a week.

I upgraded my BlackBerry Storm (1) from OS 4.7.whatever to 5.0.0.230, the latest “leaked” OS from RIM, and re-activated it on my account in place of my Curve.

There are not enough developers in all of Christendom that can turn that phone into anything more than a shiny toy. If the Storm 2 uses the same OS–and by all accounts, it will–then it will be no better.

OS 5.0.0.230 updates the User Experience with such baubles as flick-scrolling (a la the iPhone), the text input is faster and more precise, and predictive input gets kicked up a notch. They say they’ve improved the browser too, but I sure can’t tell.

And sadly, RIM will never, ever, ever make voice-assisted dialing not totally suck, and the OS–being a pre-release and all–is still fraught with annoying and aggravating bugs.

In this case, I did know what I was thinking: I was so caught up in Storm 2 fever that I wanted to preview the OS on my Storm 1. But, unfortunately, it was kind of a let-down.

I await the arrival of the Pre and the Droid on Verizon with heightened interest, because the Storm 2 has been completely eliminated from the running. My next “last-phone-I’ll-ever-own” is going to have a real fucking keyboard. Period.

I bought a Verizon Wireless BlackBerry Storm (original) about two months ago. Needless to say, I’m back using my BlackBerry Curve; I just couldn’t get used to the typing delay on the Storm. Its operating system is slow and buggy, written for the likes of the Curve and the 83xx rather than the Storm; consequently, because of the higher demands of the Storm, it crashed a lot.

The Storm 2 promises to be an all-new experience, with BlackBery OS 5.0, and the hit-and-miss SurePress “button” under the floating glass screen has been replaced with a slick piezoelectric sensor arrangement, promising multi-touch capability a-la the iPhone (a phone which everyone but iPhone users love to hate).

The Storm 2 has WiFi capability–long clamored-for by Verizon subscribers, but something I really don’t care much about, as Verizon’s 3G EV-DO data network is so fast that I don’t wont for it on the devices I already have. However, Engadget has rumored that the Storm 2 will have MiFi capability–which means that the Storm 2 is, essentially, a mobile wireless access point, with which I share the staggeringly-fast 3G EV-DO Internet connection with up to five laptops, which would connect to my Storm using their 802.11 WiFi:

So I would be a walking WiFi hotspot. That is freaking cool.

If this is actually true, then this device is chock-full of win and it will be my next “last phone I will ever own.”

But there’s also a new contender on the block: The Droid, by Motorola, is coming exclusively to Verizon. Its claim to fame? It’s not the fact that it has a a fold-away keyboard–like a number of smartphones these days–but rather, it boasts version 2.0 of the Google Android operating system. While BlackBerry has an App store, Android is completely open-source and I can finally have a phone I can develop my very own apps for. (and don’t none of you WinMo users tout the ability to write apps for your phones–WinMo is buggier than a bait store and I’d sooner own an iPhone before I owned a WinMo phone.)

I’ll wait until Christmas. Then I’ll take the plunge with one of these two phones. But either way, I will have a new phone come New Years.